


Call me Tom

by Djxkawaii



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:23:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9701150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djxkawaii/pseuds/Djxkawaii
Summary: Imagine if Voldemort and Harry become roommates, will they hate each other or will romance erupt?!!!!!¡! Will they become.... HOLDEMORTREAD AND FIND OUT!!!!!!





	1. Nose fetish

Voldemort POV

I run my hand through his jet black hair. It feels so soft under my fingertips. He stirs in his sleep. I caress his cheeks. His skin is as smooth as chocolate, but he's too pale to be chocolate... He's my vanilla ice cream.  
I move onto his nose, my favourite things about him. It's so well-defined, thin and amazing. I could look at it all day. I wish I had a nose, I bet he can smell thing really well with it. I close my eyes and imagine what he must smell like. Probably the metallic smell of blood mingled with ash and milk. I press my non-existent nose to his neck and inhale deeply, but then I sigh sadly. Nothing.

He moves again and I know my time with him is limited, so I move onto the part I save for last. I run my index finger over the rumpled skin that is his scar. I smile to myself. This is the mark I gave to him, claiming him to be mine forever.

DISCLAIMER: THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS A JOKE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN AS A COMEDY AND IS A PARODY OF THE TYPICAL ROMANCE FAN FIC


	2. The Banana

I awake to chirping. The sun is streaming through the gap in the curtain. I roll over to sleep some more but my stomach growls impatiently. Then I think of all the weetabix downstairs and I get up. I stare down at my clothes and decide to take them off because my roommate doesn't wake up until midday. I stroll into the kitchen. Just as I'm grabbing my weetabix my roommate walks in. I scream and grab a banana to cover myself.  
Crisis averted.  
Voldemort gasps and his pale complexion floods with colour.  
"Harry..." He croaks still blushing a violet red.  
"Hey Voldie what are you doing here, you're usually not up this early."   
"Sorry I wanted to get a banana..." He trails off.  
"Oh, here you go," and I throw him the banana.  
His catches the banana and freezes, turning an even deeper red. I didn't even know this shade was possible.  
He mutters a thank you and maintaining eye contact, licks the banana.  
Now I blush, and we stare into each other eyes for what seems like an eternity. His eyes are an endless galaxy of black, red and grey. Suddenly he breaks eye contact and leaves the room.

DISCLAIMER: THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS A JOKE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN AS A COMEDY AND IS A PARODY OF THE TYPICAL ROMANCE FAN FIC.


	3. The Shrine

As I walk out of the room I choke, I can't believe that just happened. I feel like running back, jumping into his arms and doing all sorts of unthinkable things. All this time I've been imagining what he would look like underneath his wizarding robes, but nothing could prepare me for the masterpiece I witnessed in the kitchen. I stroke the banana in my hands thoughtfully. If only the banana was something else...

I return to my room and place my banana on my Harry Potter shrine. I sit on my bed and gaze happily at my collection.  
From newspaper clipping that mention him, to photos, to locks of hair, to piles of used tissues and my Harry Potter voodoo doll.   
Suddenly Harry bursts into my room.   
"Hey Voldie have you seen my nose hair clipper. I sigh because I'm brutally reminded of my non-existent nose. His eyes swivel around the room. I'm distracted by his emerald green, mesmerising eyes. I could lose my self for hours in those eyes. I never get to see them when I'm looking at him in his sleep. I'm interrupted from my thoughts when I hear a gasp.  
Harry sees my shrine and his eyes rest on his nose hair clippers beside the framed picture of his nose. I die inside.  
I choke out an apology, as if saying sorry will fix anything.  
"I'll pack my things," I whisper as my face twists in shame and tears fill my eyes.  
"No..."   
What? I look up in surprise.   
"No.... You can't leave... I've always loved you," He steps towards me hesitantly. And then he takes another step, and then another and then we're kissing.

It's warm, wet and charged with passion and electricity. I feel his lips twist into a smile and I grin back. I'm drunk on love and all I can think of is his smooth skin rubbing against mine, his hair is between my fingers, his hands on my waist and I know what pure bliss feels like. We fall onto the bed, and our limbs entangle. "I've always loved you Voldie," he whispers to me and I feel his warm breath on my ear. I giggle and kiss his neck.  
"Voldemort..." He groans.  
I whisper, "Call me Tom," 

DISCLAIMER: THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS A JOKE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN AS A COMEDY AND IS A PARODY OF THE TYPICAL ROMANCE FAN FIC.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: THIS BOOK IS A JOKE! A PARODY OF THE TYPICAL ROMANCE FAN FIC, THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND IS A COMEDY.


End file.
